Flight Number One:Omens and Stripper Girl

Flight Number One-

Back of the plane, middle seat, and I didn't even have the luck to be seated next to Stripper Girl who had checked in right before me. Well, maybe I'm jumping the gun on that one. Just because she had the tramp stamp tattoo (which I'm a fan of) and no tan lines (also a fan), doesn't mean she's a stripper. However, her outfit for a six a.m. flight that showed me the tattoos and her all over fakebaked tan sans lines does allow my imagination to run in that direction. She had checked in with her stripper friend and stripper friend's boyfriend (manager). I didn't realized they traveled in packs. For an early flight she is the most interesting person on the plane. Even the ambiguously gay airline stewards serving up drinks on either side of the aisle can't help but strike up conversation with her everytime they pass.

The Good Omen.

As I sit scrunched in my middle seat between two anonymous men that are involuntarly invading my person space, the in-flight movie is announce. I am on my way to Austin for the SXSW fest to enjoy the best in indie, foreign and mainstream films as well as all kinds of music. My expectations are high to experience film as an artform. Over the cabin P.A., ambiguosly gay steward number one informs the passengers (with great pride) the inflight movie will be “The Women” starring Meg Ryan and that headsets can be purchased for two dollars.

Fuckme.

As the movie begins to play (my body wanting to cry out against this injustice with a series of Grand Mal seizures that somehow I suppress), I start thinking about omens. My first thought is that watching piece of commercial studio crap aimed at a demographic who wants to be rich and white, is a sign of bad things to come. However, my more rational mind retorts, if you expect bad things to happen... they will. It's basic science. Like attracts like. If you put out that sort of energy into the universe, that's what is gonna come back to you. This makes sense to me. So, I closed my eyes and cleared my mind. Trying to leave that grotesque affront to cinema behind, I let my imagination wonder.

Then a funny thing happened.

Right about the time my thoughts carried me to a place that Stripper Girl and I could spend time working on an all over tan, a bunch of the ambiguosly gay steward call lights started blinking on throughout the cabin. A moment later, it is announced that because the audio for the movie will only play in Spanish, a different movie will have to be played. The irony that Spanish may be the only way “The Women” would be tolerable (especially if you don't speak Spanish) and it was that exact reason why the movie had to be switched out was not lost on me. The next movie to come on was “Four Christmasses”. Okay, not a huge step up, but at least it's got Vince Vaughn.

This a good sign. A good omen. A way to put good energy out in the world and have it hopefully come back to me.

Speaking of... Hello, Stripper Girl, my name is JAM.